Tag Archives: abstract

Wuppertal, Munich and Travelling Back in Time

Do you also have the feeling that your life has become so busy, that you have no time for all the stuff you want to do? Or to read all the blogs you are subscribed to?

The first quarter of the year is almost passed and somehow I have neglected my blog. Well, many things are happening and keeping me busy – which is mostly good news. Another reason is that with so many things, which are happening on all fronts (personal, family, political, career etc), I am left with so many impressions, thoughts, ideas, questions… It feels as if I have so much to say and to share, and yet I do not know where to start. It feels as if I would need another lifetime to sort all ideas and find the right way to share them. Or a personal assistant… Or a way to magically write down all that is in my mind within a few hours.

So I am trying to navigate these times, which feel chaotic and alive, terrifying and promising at the same time, as best and honestly as I can. To live each moment more consciously and deliberately waiting to find clarity, allowing life to unfold its plan at its own pace. I am considering writing shorter, but more frequent blogs… let’s see if that is a better way to deal with my and your busy life and still stay in touch.

A quick update:

My exhibition in Munich has just finished. It was very well visited and the highlight was, that a friend has organised for me to fly to Munich and talk about my art to interested guests in a guided tour of my exhibition. I really enjoy that direct contact with the people who are interested my art. Most of my art is filled with layers of meaning and thoughts, and people have commented how enriching they find to look at the art, and then additionally hear me talk about it.

Here are a few impressions from the exhibition and the guided tour (Click on the images for a larger view and description):

In front of the work ‘The Horse is a Problem. The Horse Must Go.’

Being introduced by Carola von Maltzahn

Talking about the artworks ‘Götterdämmerung’ (above left), Promises of Death (below left) and Digging up Old Bones (right).

3 works from the Farm Life series.

Land Art works from ‘An Infinite Scream’

Power Play (Brothers & Sistahs)

Exhibition View

The event has been organized by Carola von Maltzahn from http://www.vonmaltzahn.net/ and Christian Bräuer from Art Dine & Table – Die Kunstpatrouille (www.christian-braeuer.de) Photos: Carola von Maltzahn.

I had another exhibition opening in March, at the Museum auf der Hardt, Wuppertal.

The exhibition and screening of the documentary film about my land art project ‘An Infinite Scream’ was part of a Symposium organized by the Vereinte Evangelische Mission.

Here are some images from the exhibition, opening and film screening. Photos by Ramona Hedtmann, VEM and myself.

What Will be Left (Tourist Map with all currently awarded Exclusive Prospecting licenses cut out)

Dorob (NOT)4Sale

Concession Areas (Top and middle) and ‘Repeating the Same Mistakes (Modern Maharero)’

Archival photograph from colonial times

Repeating the Same Mistakes (Modern Maharero) – an artwork commenting on selling off land and rights for immideatey gain and power.

Introduction by Ms Julia Besten and Mr Uli Baege from VEM

Speaking about my art

Guests getting ready for the screening of the documentary film ‘An Infinite Scream’

Talking to guests

Exhibition view

Art works from my Land Art project ‘An Infinite Scream’

the official photo with my artwork

The symposium included presentations and discussions, and I was very happy and honoured to meet the main speaker, Mr Henning Melber (right)

Only shortly before the event, I realised that I have a much deeper connection to this museum and place than I could have imagined. My Great-Great-Grandfather Eduard Dannert and Great-Grandfather August Kuhlmann were both missionaries in Namibia and were sent by this very same institution to Africa. Needless to say, the museum and archives have lots of information, documentation and objects from these ancestors of mine, like for instance the sewing machine of my Great-Grandmother… and this sewing machine, together with a letter which August Kuhlmann wrote to General von Trotha trying to convince him to treat the Herero people more humanly were exhibited in the same space, next to my political works. What an honour and humbling experience.

Life… This is the sewing machine of my great-grandmother, Elizabeth Kuhlmann. It has been donated to the Museum auf der Hardt in Wuppertal some years ago by a distant relative/aunt. NOW I am going to exhibit in exactly this museum, with my artwork in the same room as my great-grandmother’s sewing machine. Such an unexpected surprise! And weird coincidence to find this connection in Wuppertal.

I have spent 2 days in the archives of the ‘Vereinte Evangelishe Mission’ who have a vast amount of old documents from the missionary activities in Namibia (amongst others). I could page through hundreds of letters and reports written by my great-great-grandfather, my grand-father and some from their wifes. So interesting and informative. I have been so grateful for the people who have already researched and typed some of the information, as the old German lettering and handwriting is damn difficult to decipher. Seeing history through the eyes of my own ancestors is so helpful and interesting, giving a very personal account of how they saw the world and how and why they acted the way they did. I feel blessed to have so much information about my ancestors, not only within the family, but also, additionally in well-organized and accessible archives. And I could see that my ancestors already questioned what was happening and tried to get involved as best they can, given their circumstances. Missionary August Kuhlmann (my great-grandfather) wrote several letters to von Trotha and von Lindequist, pleading and arguing for a more humane and fair treatment of the Herero people. This photo is from one such letter displayed in the museum currently.

My ancestors who first came to southwest Africa in 1874. Missionary Dannert and his wife Auguste (Dahl) and a daughter. The curator Museum auf der Hardt has decided to add some links from the archives related to my ancestors to the exhibition. Like this photo. I notice the love of cats goes back a few generations.

If you happen to be in Wuppertal, you are welcome to view the exhibition. It is still on till the 4th of April. More information, directions and opening times: http://www.vemission.org/museumarchive.html

I am so excited that spring seems to have finally arrived! After so much political art and talk, I felt like painting something light and colourful, to welcome spring.

Leaf Work – Cross

Leaf Work – Woven Pairs

Spring is coming… abstract artwork on my easel

The Morning After… Gold and Glamour in Kiev

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Looking at the hotel and a stunning rainbow over the Maidan, Kiev

My hotel overlooks the Maidan in Kiev and I had two hours before sunset to find some food and spend time walking around this famous square. It was a national holiday, so the square was filled with people and music. And numerous reminders of the lives lost at the recent Euromaidan uprising which happened here just a few months ago…

So, once again, it was in the middle of the night, that I could start with my intervention to turn the hotel room’s decorative print into an original and unusual art work.

2015 Hotel Deco Busting

Intervention Against Tasteless Wall Decorations in Hotels and Holiday Apartments. (Part 14)
Intervention gegen geschmacklose Wanddekoration in Hotelzimmern und Ferienwohnungen.

Wow, this was already the 14th intervention! So, let me tell you about this one.

The hotel is prominently located and surely has seen really glamorous times, but that must have been some years ago. It still has the old-world charm and the rooms are fine. The decoration which I found in this room, was a print on cardboard of a painting depicting a boat close to a waterfall.

When I know that I will be staying in the hotel, I try to take a small selection of art supplies on the trip, but since I never know what to expect, I usually have to be inventive and work very spontaneously. And again, I only had limited time to do this, as I only stayed here one night, arriving late and leaving before breakfast. So I decided to try to keep this one simple.

Inspired by the rainbow, which I have seen earlier in the evening, and the golden frame of the deco print, I decided to once again make use of a golden felt pen, just like I did in Charkiv already. It is graphic and dries fast.

Gold seemed perfect. This beautiful old city and hotel, reminded me of glamorous, golden past eras. Yet in this time where there is a war raging in the east of the country and many young people have lost their lives, the future looks uncertain for this country and its people.

I added a square of 9 x 9 golden circles to the centre of the print. The metallic golden circles are almost invisible, when looked at from the front, but they glow beautifully when seen from an angle. I hope that this can remind us, that sometimes our reality looks bleak, but looked at from a different perspective we can find hope and beauty in every situation.

We just need to be open to find the opportunities and gifts of every situation. Just like believing in finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

And this is my wish for the Ukrainian people and in fact, for all of humanity.

The number 9 is an auspicious number. In numerology Number 9 is the number of Universal love, eternity, faith, Universal Spiritual Laws, the concept of karma, spiritual enlightenment and divine wisdom. And it is linked to the colour: gold.

Some have asked before, how I ensure to have the right materials handy. I try to take some useful things along, but am always limited by stuff like baggage allowance and the fact, that I seldom know what to expect. I try to work with what I find and what I have. And to make a plan. Here I had the vision of adding the circles, I had the right pen, but I wanted to make sure they are at an equal distance from each other and the same size.

So in the middle of the night I went down to reception and asked for a punch.

Not an easy task, since they only spoke a pretty basic English and I don’t speak a word of Ukrainian or Russian. And I do not think that many guests are requesting a punch at 11:45 at night. I took a card along, punched a row of holes into it, thanked them, and went back to my room. Now I could get started…

Getting started, with my newly created stencil.

Well here is the final result of this late night hotel deco-busting intervention:

websideviewIRust

And some more pictures, just click on the images to get a larger and complete view:

Before – this is the printed artwork, before I gave it a face lift.

After – this is the print with my intervention. The golden circles are not very visible when viewed directly from the front.

A close-up view of my intervention

A little note left on the back of the artwork.

Relaxing after the work is finished.

The room and artwork with newly added glamour in the morning.

If you ever visit Kiev, make sure to stay in this room to get an extra special art treatment as a bonus.

Did you like this? You can find more similar interventions HERE.

I wish you a wonderful, hopeful and golden week ahead!

Permission to Play

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Untitled, Acrylic on acidfree paper 170g/m2 29,7 x21cm, © Imke Rust

Please click on images to see a larger version.

Recently I have allowed myself to make some abstract paintings for the first time in my life.

Do I need permission, you might wonder? Yes, because most of my life I thought it is too easy and superficial and thus not becoming for a ‘serious and deep’ artist like me. So I just did not allow myself to go down that route.

I had so much fun playing with my new colours and I loved the results! I posted some of these abstract paintings on Facebook and got a lot of positive response and my heart just warmed up and I felt happy and satisfied.

Those of you, who follow my musings here regularly, know that I have had my struggles with fitting into the art world and making sense of it all. I had serious doubts about just about everything. Always questioning if what I am doing is purposeful, important, serious enough, good enough, likeable and sellable and so much more.

This used to drive me crazy and kind of paralyse my creative flow for most of the time. It took so much effort to do things anyway. To get up and paint or draw or create despite all my doubts and insecurities… To make art, even though I have already so much art piling up, that will probably never find a way out into a gallery or somebody else’s home.

To deal with depression and try to not to loose hope…

Somewhere along the way things turned so bad, that I decided to take a break, even though that thought seriously freaked me out. But I knew I had no real choice. Being depressed and creatively paralysed was anyway not really supportive of producing any good art or make me feel happy and excited.

Sea Turtle by Imke Rust
(Water-colour pencils, Acrylic and gel pens on acid-free 170m/g2 paper, 29 x 21cm)

So I quit going to the studio. I quit pressurising myself to produce any serious art. I stopped writing proposals for stipends, grants or exhibitions. I even stopped going to see other art exhibitions, as I realised that every time I see other art, I start comparing myself: either thinking that everything great has already been done by people who are much better or feeling I have so much more to offer than the artist I see, yet they have a show and sales in a fancy gallery and I don’t.

It took a lot of courage, but I decided to start doing only things I really want to do, things that are fun or make me happy. Even if that meant sleeping most of the day – if I felt like it, I did it. Yes, my mind was racing and blaming and I was feeling so guilty and lazy, but on the other hand, my body gratefully accepted and turned around for just another few minutes of rest.

The struggle between my critical mind and my soul’s desires was huge. Mostly I could not even remember what my soul wanted and my mind was loud and full with ‘should’s and should not’s and trying to know and understand it all from a rational perspective. And very often I ended up wasting time in front of the computer, because that at least felt like I was doing something productive.

Ever since I can remember, I was very aware of other people’s needs, expectations and emotions. My survival instinct as a child quickly realised this could be a valuable gift that I hoped would help me to fit in perfectly and make everybody around me happy. I was good at that – always being thoughtful, kind and pleasing.

I am sure in many ways this unconscious strategy really ensured my sanity and survival. But it was not always successful. The more people I had around me that needed pleasing at the same time and the more complicated things became, the more I felt like failing and was failing. And the more confused I got and ultimately depressed. Especially because there was this deep, throbbing feeling that there was more to my life, than pleasing others and being socially acceptable. Just how could I ensure my survival if it depends so much on others? On a more practical level: people have to like my art in order to buy it, so that I can pay my rent.

Rhino Angels, Pencil on grey paper 110g/m2 29,7 x21cm, © Imke Rust

Anyway, I promised myself to follow my heart and listen to my soul and was adamant to push through on that. Until I figured out that I have absolutely no clue who I really am and what my own desires are – I was so good at soaking up other people’s desires, that I never gave much attention to my own. So, I tried to remember. I just could not. And every time my heart or soul nudged me with a little idea or urged me to just draw a cute little picture, my mind was racing and shouting again, finding hundreds of reasons why I should not.

I tried to compromise. I told my mind, that it is ok to play, I have a few more savings and one small alternative source of income and for right now, my survival will not be jeopardised (one of my greatest fears). I told my mind, that I will spend ‘just a tiny little snipped of time’ playing with paint or resting or enjoying watching the clouds pass by –surely that would be ok? This little time will make me happy and give me more energy to one day show up for the big work with all new enthusiasm and creativity.

The negotiations were tough and endless, but somehow, I guess out of pure desperation I nudged out more and more time and space to just be, to play, to muse and to not worry.

And I decided to ignore the inner critic as best I can and give myself permission to at least try to follow up on some crazy or fun ideas I have. To try out different things, so that I can finally figure out my own true inner desires again and express them.

Neon Butterfly, Acrylic on acidfree paper 170g/m2 29,7 x21cm, © Imke Rust

The struggle has not ended, but I have a feeling I have come a far way. Being brutally honest with myself has helped a lot. And being kind and understanding with myself – wow, I did not realise how difficult that is!

It has also helped me to share my experiences and thoughts in this blog. Even though I have only allowed small glimpses every now and then, I feel that I have so many thoughts and experiences swirling around in my mind, that it would help me to just express them. And I hope it might help others reading it, to find some inspiration, help or just a feeling of not being alone with your troubles.

Much of the time I spent on the computer, trying to be busy and avoid looking deep into my own soul, has been spend on the Internet. I have read a gazillion motivational, self-help, inspiring blog posts. And yes, many of them were helpful and inspiring and I am so grateful for the access to all this information we have.

It struck me how so many people who can be viewed as successful and happy from the outside, are or have been struggling with many of the same issues that I struggle with. When such people are willing to share and expose their most vulnerable parts, their fears or mistakes, it gives me hope, as I realise we are not alone, nobody is born ‘perfect’ and if they can find answers and solutions, so can I. And I can learn from such a great pool of wonderful teachers, who probably never even see themselves as teachers.

That is the reason, why I feel that I want to share more of my inner world and thoughts in this blog, even if they are not directly related to my art. And I hope in some small way it might be an inspiration or helpful to some of you too.

Please click on the images below to see a larger version.

Falling Leaves, Pen on acidfree paper 170g/m2 29,7 x21cm, © Imke Rust

Untitled, Ink painted with a feather on acidfree paper 170g/m2 29,7 x21cm, © Imke Rust

Flying Crows, Far Away, Ink on acidfree paper 170g/m2 29,7 x21cm, © Imke Rust

Domestic Sculpture in Blue (or how to avoid doing the washing)

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Do you also regard domestic work as a nuissance and a waste-of-time, but realise that it unforunately is a necessary evil? I do. 😦

Sometimes I try to cheer myself up, by pretending it is all a creative and fun adventure. And this is the result of that happening the other day when I was supposed to do the washing:

Domestic Sculpture in Blue (or how to avoid doing the washing)

Wishing you a wonderful and creative week ahead!