Sketch illustrating the feeling I tried to describe in words
So,
Bird of darkness, you are back again,
nesting forcefully in my crown.
Thrusting your claws into the depths of my heart.
Stubbornly refusing to be shooed away.
You spread out your wings
not to take flight,
but to cover everything under your gloom.
You stifle me.
Repeatingly
pounding your angry beak against my head.
Oh, when will you leave my branches again?
Lift your heavy weight of me
and let the sun flow back into my emptiness?
And why have you chosen me
To make yourself at home?
Oh, when will you return to your own darkness
again
and give me space to breath?
…to be?
(Sometimes I get overwhelmed by feelings of depression and on the advice of my friend and healing facilitator Jutta Dobler I decided to try and embrace the feeling instead of fighting it. And this is what came out of it – the text and a few days later I made the quick sketch while waiting for the dentist. I am no poet, but still thought I would like to share these scribbles with you.)
Text ©Imke Rust
Imke Rust 
hallo Imke,
Ich denke oft an Dich
Alles Liebe
Danke! Und ich an dich!!! Drueckie
This is so so beautiful dear Imke! You would never have written or drawn that without the bird of darkness! I think it was Rilke who refused to have treatment for his depression, saying that with the devils the angels would be chased away too! You are embracing the angel of darkness my brave friend. am with you in spirit. big hug and lots and lots and lots of love xxxxx
Danke Jutta,I remember that you have told me that and have been thinking a lot about it. But the rebel in me insists that there must be a life without the devils, yet full of light and angels… Fortunately at the moment I am feeling better, but I sense the bird is circling above me, just waiting for its chance to return. That’s why I thought posting this might steal its energy… 🙂 Lots and lots of love to you and thank you for your support and inspiration – it means so much to me! xxx
Hi Imke, ich wollte, ich könnte den Vogel verscheuchen helfen – aber vielleicht ist Depression wirklich die andere Seite von Sensibilität/Kunst. Bild und Gedicht sprechen sehr dafür. Das Leben ist schon eine sehr vertrackte Sache!
Danke Ute, das ist so lieb von dir. Und ja es scheint oft zusammenhaengen aber das ist nicht viel Trost finde ich. Vielleicht lernt man dann doch irgendwann mal damit umzugehen und die Balance zu finden 🙂 Liebe Gruesse und auf ein baldiges Wiedersehen!